as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
