you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
