in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
