Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
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