how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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