did you get engaged???
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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