Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
