I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
