I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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