You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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