I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
