Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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