Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
