Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
