yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
