I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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