You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
