Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Randomize
