There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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