Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
