Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
