forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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