I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
