it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize