you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize