how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Michael Bay diarrhea
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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