Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Randomize
