dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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