Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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