its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
