Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Randomize
