nut hugger
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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