my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
