puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
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