Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
