I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
We are all done wearing pants today
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
