well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Randomize
