If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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