Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
We have started to decorate penises.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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