My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
