ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
