I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Your cock deserves a montage
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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