I only kidnapped one of them. chill
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize