he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
