You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Randomize
