Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Randomize