I want to stick my p in your. b.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize