I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Operation Purity has been aborted
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
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