YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
