Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
