I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Randomize
