i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
In America we eat man semen.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize