Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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