Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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