all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Randomize
