Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Randomize
