it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
