woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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