it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Randomize